Lost

2014 has been a long year, yet unbearably short. I’m surprised by the shear number of things I’ve done, or began doing, or planned to do but never got to executing. The list would be pretty much endless.

It has also been the most hectic year. I finally got to writing something from a professional point of view. And I must say it was really fun. But, the moment I set it down, I got stuck. It’s like I should’ve pulled it on forever. I can’t find the same words or the energy anymore. Is that something normal? I don’t know. I’m really confused.

I’m still stuck.

I have to keep flipping back to things I shouldn’t have to flip back to. I’m having dreams I shouldn’t be having. I’m getting lost in places I shouldn’t be getting lost in. I feel restless, but I can’t bring myself to do anything. I have no idea what’s going on.

On the bright side, there are a lot of movie adaptations of the books I read last year. Hunger Games is going to end. Insurgent’s coming out. Scorch Trials… Okay, maybe there isn’t anything particularly bright about that. Because The Hunger Games movie series is ending. Nothing bright about that except Katniss ending up with Peeta (spoiler), provided they don’t mess with the original plot. Insurgent, well, Tris is going to try to die (spoiler). Not very uplifting. And Scorch Trials. Since when was Teresa with them before they met the Rat Man (spoiler)? I heard the movie for Maze Runner was better than the book. Can’t help but hope the same for the next two books.

Paper Towns? Yes! Paper Towns is coming out! Even though I haven’t read the book yet. Guess I will soon.

I’m STILL stuck.

Does this ever happen to you? That you go on blabbering but then you feel like you’re in square one again? It’s like I’ve forgotten how to make a difference. All that time I spent gathering things up to give this a try. And now, no one even knows how close I am to drowning.

I would get a 0 for this if it were my English essay.

PS: This post had exactly 364 words before I started the post script.

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Author: anankhan98

When I close my eyes, I see myself as a writer. I see a pale blank page in front of me and feel a solid pen in my hand. I feel inspiration flowing through me, hear the words being whispered in my ears, ready to be written. And I see myself writing them. So, I write. And that is why I am here right now. To let the world know that I want to become better at this. That there is this unbelievably naive living in this corner of the world, who wants to have people help her become the best she can become. My focus is actually on fiction. I dream up stories in my sleep, literally. And I can't help but want to write them. Knowing English only as a second language is a drawback, though. I still try.

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