She sits at the table in the attic and sifts through her memories. Perhaps she’ll find something worth remembering. It might be something happy, or sad, or even scary. She only wants something memorable. There could be something there that she’s missed in all her years.
She is young, not yet in her twenties. But, she feels a lot older at times. When the people around her act like spoiled infants in their cradles, screaming for someone else to come clean up their mess.
She feels a lot younger as well. When she speaks with people who have been through a lot more.
I think you’re wasting your time.
Many think that she’s a mistake, and that she makes her life an even bigger mistake. Define mistake, she wants to tell them and watch them fidget under the scrutiny of an apparently non-living thing.
What will it bring you? What’s in it for you?
I don’t know. But why do you care?
They never care more than a certain amount, and they think that will be enough where infinity times that is needed. The irony of it is that she understands best the value of a grain where there are none.
She tries nonetheless. She gives them a chance for as long as she can.
The only light she sits by filters through the clear panelling of the window. The slopes of the ceiling converge at the point directly above its middle. All she can make of the window is the outline. the joints in the skeleton of the pane are barely visible. And the light? A blinding white.
Oh, poor thing. Life is so unfair. The ordeals you go through…
Ordeals? What are those?
The ghost of a smile flits across her face. What she’s learned because of the things these people call ordeals, she feels they are more valuable than any lesson they can teach her for all the years they’ve lived.
Everyone loves and act, though, don’t they?
A bright memory bounds across her vision, and she grabs it. It is a curious thing. SHe’s never seen anything like it before, yet it feels more like home than anything else.
“What’ll you do with them?” he had asked, the only one who understood her.
She had smiled. “Let me find them first.”
The window drew her attention again. When she turned back, she knew what to do.